You feel it rising. The frustration, the anger, the overwhelm, whatever it is for you. And almost immediately, before you've even had a chance to feel it fully, something kicks in. A voice. A strategy. A breath. Calm down. Regulate. Don't go there. Maybe it's a technique someone taught you. Maybe, growing up, it's what was modelled to you by other women. Maybe it's just something you've learned to do automatically over a lifetime of being told - directly or indirectly - that your emotions are...

For most of my life, I believed my limitations were my fault. My reactivity. My emotional overwhelm. My inability to just hold it together  when it mattered most. I put it all down to some fundamental flaw in me — that I wasn't smart enough, strong enough, disciplined enough. That other people had some kind of brain strength I simply didn't possess. And so I did what many of us do. I analysed myself. Constantly. After seemingly small interactions, I would replay everything. Why do I keep...